Getting married is an important step. According to statistics, 65% of divorced men get married again within five years. It’s clear, they don’t have a train of children from their first marriage, and no one shouts to them in the back “who needs you and your child!” Concerning the prospects for arranging the personal life of a divorced or just a single woman with a child, there are a lot of stereotypes, and for the most part they are by no means favorable, and sometimes even frankly humiliating. Divorced with a trailer. A brooch with luggage. But who needs me with a child? Who will take me with two children?
How to Build Relationships
A happy marriage is work. Since the irreparable has already happened, there is no reason to grieve, blame fate, worry in vain. Even with the "baggage" you still have enough chances to start a new family. Believe in yourself, and also follow the tips on how to get married after a divorce with an unusual “weight”:
Want to get married with a baby in your arms?
- Maintain a plus state. Yes, it’s hard to radiate joy, while all the chores go on alone. But think about how much benefit you get from your positive. You will be comfortable with both your potential spouse and your own children. And this is one step before joining a family.
- Keep a balance. Pay attention to both the partner and the child. Children, of course, are always a priority for a woman. But how are you going to get married with a child, if at each date all the time you talk only about children's problems? Build new relationships so that the chosen one feels that he is interested in you.
- Your children are beautiful! Repeat this to yourself like a mantra! Tell your future husband how to have fun with them: play, go to the movies, roller skate in the park. So both of you will have pleasant childhood emotions. This also brings together.
If a woman is of the opinion that, having given birth to a child, she does not become worse from this, that she is no different from those who were not married, she will still be in her life. Once and for all, a woman should understand that the probability of getting married with a child is almost the same task as getting married without children.
Statistics show that only fifteen percent of men are not ready to take care of a non-native child, but for 85% this is not a hindrance at all. So, you need to focus on the majority and believe that all the best is ahead.
What women think about it
There is, however, the opposite theory: that a divorced woman with a child, on the contrary, is more likely to marry again than her never-married childless peer, and there are many examples, but who will believe it?
There is an opinion that if a man is ready to marry you with his child, then this says a lot about him. That is, do not even doubt it. “He took her with a child” is such super-heroism. I was not afraid, therefore.
Yes, most often, women, of course, are advised not to immediately recognize a man in the presence of a child (children), so as not to frighten off a potential groom ahead of time. However, men themselves do not welcome such concern for their weak nervous system and see this as criminal intentions, that is, you deliberately mislead him, and this can and will be used against you later. You lied to me, goodbye. Conveniently.
Getting Acquainted is the Key to Success
So, step by step, you will cease to grieve over the divorced marriage or that you are left with the baby alone. This condition will certainly lead to self-confidence and will attract members of the opposite sex.
And finally, you met a worthy man. Does he need to tell the child? It is impossible to hide, but it is necessary to say after two or three meetings. You don’t need to devote much time to talking about how hard it is with him, how sick he is, he does not listen to the teacher in the kindergarten. No need to alarm problems. He liked you for your optimism, smile, for being easy with you. This should continue to be the case, but life's problems have been and will be - no many complaints are needed. Let him get used to the idea that you are not alone and will offer, for example, to go for a walk together or to help with something.
Building relationships is not as easy as it seems. Unobtrusive behavior will be correct. Do not immediately expect that the man will immediately treat the baby as a native. He needs to be given time to get used to, so that he realizes that you and your child are one indivisible whole. Caring for you, he will begin to take care of your son (or daughter), gradually entering the role of a father.
How to find family happiness
A child from her first marriage should not be a reason to be a single woman. The father for the child is the one who raised the child. Relations with a man are built on respect and trust. Many divorced women, being outside a full-fledged family, begin to put the work and education of their daughter or son above their own happiness. Sometimes the material difficulties that they have encountered push this. A woman falls under the pressure of a catastrophic lack of time - everything has to be done herself. She, wanting to marry a second time with a child, often refuses the opportunity to meet someone, does not think about a date - there are no conditions for this.
Such an organization of life will not lead to anything good. A woman should not forget about herself. She is young, beautiful, hard working and has the right to a happy life, which is given once. It is necessary to find opportunities by connecting grandparents, the father of the child, in order to attend parties, interesting events, concerts and so on. With each exit from the house, the chances of a new acquaintance increase.
Caring for a child, you should not "grow" a victim in yourself. It is necessary to find time in order to go to a beauty salon, to allocate funds for the purchase of decent cosmetics. You need to take care of your body, and not “throw” yourself into the breakthrough of endless domestic problems. Believe me, your child does not need such sacrifices. He wants to see mom cheerful and cheerful. Is it easy? No, but perhaps, given his youth and desire to marry a good man.
Do not be afraid to start a conversation about a son or daughter at the first meeting. Relax, they are the cutest in the world! Just tension will play against you. The interlocutor will feel her, will be wary in advance about your "dowry".
And the last rule, the main one: Children are the best that could happen to you in life. If you are calm, filled with love for others, take care of yourself, a man will be happy to be with such a girl and her children. He will begin to take care of you and your daughters-sons. And you can create a new love in harmony, respect and happiness.
Honesty is a fundamental factor in any relationship. If your man runs away, remember that you should not be sad about this. Children are your joy. Acquaintance should be easy, do not complain and talk only about your problems. Relationships are neat, so it’s important to keep an eye on the atmosphere. Be open and friendly. Self-confidence is crucial. You should not feel ugly or unworthy. Work on your self-esteem.
Best of all, of course, when the child is already grown. For example, when you are 38, and he is 18, and you are still young, and he already lives his life and the fact that his mother was going to get married will not become an injury to him. Because there are questions with the children, yes. It is impossible to make it convenient for everyone at once, and it will not be easy. But, nevertheless, the chances of getting married in no way depend on having children. Love has come, love has gone, and the children have nothing to do with it. The main thing is not to push their interests into the background.