What should be in the first message on a dating site

When you do something the first time you don't have a right idea or a plan. It's quite easy to make a mistake. But when you try to attract someone's attention on a dating site with your first message you have only one chance. Your mistake can cost too much and ruin a happy relationship.


Preparing to acquaintance

If you need a nice dating or a happy family you have to become a psychologist. What do people appreciate? We all notice the attention, the sincere interest to our life and personality, some tries to share our hobby or activities in a hope to know us better.

When you've found someone special, your ideal candidate, so try to get as much information about this person as you can. You can even pretend to play in a spy game. Try to imagine your object of interest in all details. Think of what talking manner he or she will enjoy, what words can warm his or her heart and catch attention.


How should the first message to a girl look like

Girls are really concerned about words. When you write the first message you should be careful like psychologist and smart like marketing manager. First message is a kind of advert, so it should give a strong offer and show your best sides.

But at the beginning you need to show that you've got interested in her personality and hobby or details in profile even if you're attracted only by her shapes. Write some information about you to show that you've got something in common, the same lifestyle or hobby or maybe character traits or whatever. Avoid giving too much details about yourself. Mystery is better than 3 thousand words about your past in the first message to a girl.

At the bottom of the letter don't forget to ask questions about what you are sincerely interested. Help a girl to start her message answering your questions. But don't ask too much information this time. Save new questions for the future communication while online dating.


Messages examples

Hello Rachel!

I was impressed with your list of hobbies. A bit lying, of course, I couldn't take my eyes of your pretty face. But your hobbies are so different and exciting! I think you're bright and active if you've found time to try all these things. Did I guess?

 can't boast about anything except darts. I hope my skill to reach the target will help me to reach a heart of a girl like you. I've always dreamt of a nice cheering girl who enjoys living, maybe traveling and reading books. Can we talk more? What guy are you looking for? What is your ideal weekend? Who are your friends and family? Waiting to ask more but I hope to answer your questions too.

Hi Kerry!

I'm Johnathan or Johna for short. I've been working hard and when I've found that my career can't make me feel happy I decided to meet my couple. Like the words in the song say "you killed me with your smile". Kerry, you look very open and sincere person! I guess you've got many friends because everyone seems to get charmed with your shining happy smile. It's like sunshine!

For me, you can be sure that I'm looking for a serious relationship. I'm interested to know about your plans, your goals, your background. Where are you from? What are you doing? What's about your family? I just have to stop asking questions. Let's leave details for the future communication. I'm open to answer all your questions in my turn. I really hope that you will answer this message. Waiting for reply.


What you shouldn't write the first time

There are no strict rules about dating communication. But in the name of respect and good manners don't ask a girl about her past relationships, about her financial situation and favourite poses in bed. It's also not a good idea to ask all these detailing questions about favourite movies, singers, actors, colours, etc. If you start communicating and write a good message to a girl you'll have a chance to know it later.


The first message to a man

If you look nice your chances to make a man upset with your first message on a dating site are quite low. But if you need to catch attention you should use the right words. Men do enjoy when you say something good about their appearance and skills. Be sincere in your regards and compliments. Show your true interest in his life and personality, ask about achievements and goals to give the man a possibility to boast a bit. If you understand how to write a message to a guy don't wait and hesitate.



Hello dear Stephen!

I'm Helen. And I'm looking for a serious guy with athletic body and a strong will who enjoys sports and likes to show great results in his life or hobby. I see you're very enthusiastic about sports and training. You've done a great job! I guess you're a bit shy because you don't give much information about your personality.

I'm interested to know more about your family and friends, your job, your schedule - how much time do you train, where, etc. I think you definitely have some outstanding results in life. What are your victories about? And what are you waiting from dating here? What are your goals in life? Too many questions. But you've really impressed me! Hope to hear from you soon.

Hi Sam!

Would you like to get acquainted with a girl from the other content? My name is Ann and I'm looking for someone to love and to hug. You look very nice and open minded. I really enjoy your fantastic hairstyle!

It could be interesting to read more about you. What kind of person are you? Who are your friends? Where is your family? What are your interests and views? You can ask me anything too. Help my curiosity as soon as possible!


Don't make these mistakes

You know what kind of first message should look like. But don't forget about mistakes. Never say something too sweet. You're talking to the man. Don't ask about his relationships because it's personal. You'll be able to discuss it face to face. Try not to ask him about money or finances.

While sending your first message to someone on dating site you should remember three rules:

  • make focus on that person;
  • show sincere interest;
  • don't ask such questions which you won't enjoy yourself.

Internet dating hasn't strict rules of communication. Just don't forget about politeness and respect to others.